Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well I just put wine in my tea
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
