i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
