I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My vagina is officially offended.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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