I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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