Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
