some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize