perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
