Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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