oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just gift wrapped bread.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
