Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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