Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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