Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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