i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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