I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
