pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
