question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
