Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
