Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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