He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My dick has a subreddit
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