A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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