What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
