Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
