YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
