haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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