After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
