btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
