Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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