she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So apparently I’m into choking now
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