So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
