he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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