it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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