its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
