I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
