Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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