I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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