She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
