My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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