i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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