I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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