You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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