I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
