I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
