Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just high enough for therapy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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