What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
