I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
