All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
