Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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