At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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