Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
