So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
