yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Randomize
