I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
