if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
