Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
